Sunday, April 22, 2012
Addict
I still wait for you...
Even though every shred of hope for us was thrown to the wind with harsh words and blinding anger,
I still wait to hear the closing of the front door...
Your heavy foot steps ascending the stairs.
I'm desperate to hear your voice even though part of me prays I never do.
I would succumb to it quicker than a rock sinks in water.
I loved you with every inch of my world; my being; my mind; my body.
But it wasn't enough to keep you happy as your mind constantly danced with doubt to the "what ifs".
I gave myself to you and watched as you burned holes into my gift with lies and a severe distaste for yourself.
But, like a moth to a flame, I danced around your danger out of love; out of want; out of sheer stupidity.
And I realize that eventually the pain left behind will fade away but I'm deathly afraid of what will remain...
Will it be anger that replaces the love I have for you?
Will I succumb to the bitterness that threatens the last of me I cling desperately to?
The rest of me is with you, so how can I bear such hatred to someone who holds something so sacred of mine?
Something I entrusted so foolishly believing love would conquer all...
My want for you is turning to shame.
My love for you is turning to shame.
And the severe disappointment of the outcome of something that was once beautiful and filled with hope, engulfs me.
Not better to have loved than lost.
Not better by far.
And I wait for you...
Just as I'll wait for these new scars to heal.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment