Sunday, April 22, 2012
Steps to Forgiveness
I'm taking a sociology course in college currently and my first lesson hit me kind of hard. Someone once told me that having empathy for people in my past that have done me wrong was unhealthy. They were certain because I was not full of hatred that I was dwelling in my past. I couldn't explain to this person at the time why I thought he was severely wrong. But it was put into words for me during class. Suddenly I felt validated and a little less like a horrible person. So I'm going to share. Maybe this will help someone else. (Please keep in mind I did not write this. These are notes given in class by my Professor Joe Irish)
Some Facts On Forgiveness
- Forgiveness is a process NOT an event. Emotions and feelings of betrayal and hurt will no simply disappear because you say you have forgiven someone. It takes time.
- Forgiveness is done for the VICTIM to decrease their pain, not because the offenderdeserves to be forgiven.
- FORGETTING is not involved in forgiveness... forgive and forget? Absolutely not. Forgive andREMEMBER. It's what helps you through your next trial.
- Forgiveness allows for punishment. Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean they should not have to face consequences for their actions.
- Forgiving something or someone does not excuse or justify the offense. Sometimes it's just not okay.
- Forgiveness involves grieving and takes into account the wrong done. Blame is assigned.
- Forgiveness involves anger and sadness.
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